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09 May 2016 @ 07:12 pm
Convergence of The Noses  
Faux-crosspost from Tumblr because Widespot. Widespot stuffs go here. (No matter how incongruous.)


Rhett stormed out of the bedroom and damn near tumbled down the stairs when he slipped on that old baseball card.
One o' the kids musta found it. Dropped it. Left it. Hmm...Eh, whatever. *Grumble. Grumble.*

Don't say he didn't hold up more than his end around here. In every way. Rhett flicked the water from his hands and turned around.


"Well, damn."

"That's what I was gonna say. I mean, I was just thinking about—"

"Well, out with it, boy. What'm I doin' here? This me, I mean.
I know you always wanted us to meet. Man to man. So out with it. Come on. Ain't got all eternity."

"No, it's just—I mean, yeah, but...Hmm...Ok, look, when you meet your match..."

"Ain't no match for Valentine Hart! I'm matchless, boy. Or haven't you heard?"

"I wasn't talkin' 'bout you."

"Ah...I think I know what this is. Been watchin' how you and the missus ain't clickin' so good."

"You what?"

"Know what your problem is? You put in the time and all but ain’t yet mastered the technique. Now that wife o' yours, woo buddy, she's got technique to spare.
And she's gonna keep givin' you a run for yours if you don't grab hold. You got to grab hold, boy, like so, and get up in there. That g-spot ain't gonna stimulate itself, y'know."
(*sorry folks; but that's what he said :p honest...I heard him; or at least Rhett heard him*)

"What? Man, you don't know what you talkin' 'bout, Pop—"

"Hey, I ain't sayin' you been doin' it completely wrong all these years—"

"Damn straight—"

"—kids came from somewhere. I'm just sayin' you ain't been doin' it right, ain't doin' it best. V to the H(e)art style."

"—I'm Bush League, baby. All the way!"

Valentine laughed at him.

"But I am!"


"Hell, I'm the MVP 'round those parts..."

"Y'know, if you ain't gonna listen to your old Pop—ha-hayoung Pop, the least you can do is start listenin' to you.
You are a Hart (maybe not the Hart but, hell, can't everybody be me, boy) so, yeah, they put you on, let you start even back when all you did was bunt—"


"—and—'hey' what?"

"A run's a run!"

"It's a team sport, boy. But like I was sayin', you can score, sure, in that l'il league o' yours. But the homeruns
are what they come for. Remember that. And let me know when you're ready to try out for the majors, 'Bush-league'."

"Ay, you know what, Pop, you can go."

"There's a reason why I'm in the Hall of Fame. Actually, there's several..."

"I said you can go."

"Straight to hell," Rhett muttered. He had grown man problems an' he wasn't helping, not one bit...*ugh*...Shit. "Ay, look Pop, I didn't mean—"


"Oh." Rhett bent down to pick up the memento. Musta fallen while he was doin' the dishes and venting...crazy woman and her damn...Ugh.
But wait, this wasn't the same one. This was his All-Stars MVP card. "Oh...Of course."
Always the last word, eh, Pop?

tumblr summary:

Future Rhett and Past Pop collide in the matrix (or whatever, I've never actually seen the movies—but Rhett was washing a dish! more surreal than the timey-wimey whatever-ness of this), otherwise known as the heart of the Hart hearthstone: The Kitchen. They compare player stats and Pop-in-his-prime doles out unasked for performance-enhancement advice prompting the successor to The Nose (hey, Gogol!) to impatience with his own hallucination. The figment is then properly consigned to the oblivion of false memory while Future Rhett heads upstairs to confront his fears and conquer his Future-Rhett-Wife.

Or: what happened when I aged down Valentine for photo-shooting and needed to get these two side-by-side to trace out the differences in their faces because they look such an awful lot alike and I wanted to make sure the pics would be unmistakably Valentine. (That is, not like Rhett playing dress up.)




Sooo...Val’s trophy room got all Valentine’d! (Well, it will as soon as I get around to loading up Widespot proper.)

And, actually, I’m working from the position that it was always ‘all Valentine’d’, storywise. Because I say so. But I could in no way have made it actually appear so before now.

For the team logo, I knew I didn’t want him playing for the Llamas or anything. Just, no. And while it was a little too on-the-nose the Angels’ logo—an A with a halo—was very appealing. Only it was too real-world-y. I tried to imitate it with a simlish A but that just looked stupid to me and then I found this. Supposedly it’s a dove but to me it looked very distinctly like an A with wings and a halo and that seemed perfect. No, his team was not called the Angels, that’s actually a simlish W in the star of the bottom pic, but I imagine there was something reassuring about the symbolism. And is especially so, looking back, now that she’s gone. No matter what, he always repped for his woman.

Now, being so specific to my game I’m not convinced there’d be any use value for someone else but gonna go ahead and upload the pics anyway. Just in case there is someone out there playing Widespot, who also happened to conceive of baseball as Val’s sport and wouldn’t mind having some memorabilia for the walls. Or maybe for a sports bar? Or just a sports fan? Yeah, I guess there could actually be some potential uses for it.

So, first things first. The signature pics in the top photo are recolours of the Smitty Takes Flight pic from AL (and the whole reason I did this because I had it hanging on the trophy room wall but wasn’t thrilled that it only shows a dude with a basketball). This is not ordinarily recolourable. You will need the CEP that Hafiseazale made, HERE. There are quite a few CEPs up for download there so you’ll have to scroll.

The 2nd group are on the Rugged Llamas jersey mesh, which I think (?) is from Uni.

Widespot is not one of my simlish-only hoods and I just preferred having the text in English but I’ll include the no-signature/no-logo versions. Also the middle medallion on the Rugged Llamas recolours has “V. Hart” embossed in English but it’s a pretty minor detail unless you look for it.


(Already compressorized)

Oh, and the 3rd group is a super close-up of the baseball cards from the previous post that I threw up there simply because I wanted to show them. Not included because I just made these and haven't put the pics onto an actual frame. I wasn't going to, either, but now I'm not sure I can resist. The trophy room at home is/will be already plenty claustrophobic at times for Rhett when he's trying to work his own magic at the piano and there's just so much Pop the MVP staring him down. But if I run out of wall space I can always spread a couple around at The Dugout.


Not at The Dugout, because I still haven't loaded up the hood yet, but I did put those pics on the Grilled Cheese poster mesh. Threw these 2 into the same zip above.
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Peni GriffinPeni Griffin on May 17th, 2016 01:09 pm (UTC)
I know he's annoying to compete with, Rhett, but when he comes down out of the stratosphere to give you advice on this subject - you'd do well to shut your trap and open your ears.

Somehow I missed this scene in the rush to get the goodies, but better late than never. I have to say I'm not the least bit surprised that the first thing that happened was a dirty joke - that man knows so many I can't keep up with him. And I've heard him talking too many times myself to doubt you.

In my regularly-played Widespot, which I haven't touched for over a year because of the narrative urgency the Uberhood Challenge imparts, I've assumed that the incessant dirty jokes at the Hart house are actually family stories.

I love this family so much!
quinndominionquinndominion on May 20th, 2016 11:04 am (UTC)
Yep, kind of a completist. I've also got an as yet unpublished post linking all the minisodes waiting in the wings. Figure I'll just add the rest of the Young Val stuff to another cut here once I've finished.

Future-Rhett is so over competing with Pop, though, which isn't to say he won't take his advice. Later. When he can re-imagine it as his own initiative. And maybe it is. But, hell, what's the point of hallucinating if he still can't win!